I know it’s been awhile…….

I’ve been very busy in my new life in Adkins Texas.

A quick recap of the last 6 months

Awhile back I decided to do something about my single status and joined a dating site for silver singles, I met a very nice guy, you remember Colorado man, it didn’t work out for us fortunately, because after that discouraging episode I got back on another site and met Richard in June. We wrote and talked on the phone until SEPTEMBER WHEN I DECIDED TO BITE THE BULLET, and move to Texas while keeping GG close by just in case I needed to skidaddle. No skidaddling happening here. I now live in a lovely home a bit larger than GG, she could easily fit into my dining room! This is a photo of a bit of my living room.

I’ve had fun rearranging everything, rearranging Richards life, his furniture, his Knick knacks, and trying to make it feel like home for us….adding lots of plants has helped me feel less homesick for my friends in Caballo.

Charley fits right in, hasn’t worn a leash since we got here. But the best part of the move is not the large beautiful home, the best part is definitely the man. Generous, gracious, kind, loving, all describe my Richard. I am very fortunate and do my best to deserve my good luck and am happy to say that he feels the good luck is his.

Home sweet home!

Onward, to the next chapters of my life

Opening new chapters in your life can both scary and exhilarating. So do you chose to be scared or chose exhilaration? it’s either the dumbest thing I’ve ever done or the smartest, I chose to be exhilarated.

My studio is up for sale and when I finally get it cleared out it will be gone. My art supplies, except for my good paints and a few things, go to a friend’s granddaughter, a budding artist. Everything else must go as I have promises that on the other end of my travel there is a studio being prepared for me with new supplies as needed


This time frame is getting close, once the studio and my car are sold, nothing really keeps me here..except to gift some stuff to friends .Rather than tow my car in a trailer ($1200) I’m selling it and will look for a car in Tx

We haven’t met face to face yet!

that was supposed to happen when I went to Dallas in late September , now we agreed that a face to face is not necessary because we’ve shared so much already, he reads here so you know he knows all of me! It’s a nine hour drive from here to there, longer in the rv. I am keeping GG, my security belt, if all does not turn out as we expect, I’ll keep on keeping on traveling light.

time is passing, and we want to enjoy the time we have, we’re both in good health, mutually open to this new style finding a partner, feeling fortunate we found each other. He is my trophy dude.

I should probably thank Colorado man for dumping me! He made me want more. More love, more companionship be part of a couple again, so although it was painful at first, and stupid secondly, I wouldn’t have met mr. wonderful or have the opportunities available to me now.

Keep me in your thoughts and send good vibes this way, please and thanks!

Change your thoughts, Change your life

Sin mas

Tomatoes, squash and basil

And now he wants back!

I can hardly believe him, Am I expected to forgive him? Am I stupid? Am I so lonely that his behavior is acceptable? no, No, No!

He says the fact that I didn’t need him while redoing, repainting GG made him unhappy so when another woman offered to drive back to CO to help him with cleaning out his rv he said sure thing and left with her. No matter that I didn’t know about this person, no matter that I was confused and crying for days. No matter that I had offered to go with him to help him, no matter at all.

I guess I expected more from him because of his background, I expected honor, Truth, sincerity and I got none of that. Now he’s sorry, very sorry because that woman didn’t turn out to be helpful after all and he ended up bring her back home, neither feeling friendly toward the other.

I told him I thought he must be a narcissistic fool, to love one day and the next be totally over it with no feeling left for the person supposedly loved. I told him he was an ass hole, he agreed.

Told him I could forgive him, I thought him foolish to think we could go back to being as we were, even friendship was unlikely at this point. He cried, I did not, I’m over him, disappointed in him, he should move on as I am.

I am My own worst enemy!

Do you ever do dumb things, I am especially careless in one regard, my bladder health. I’ve written here before about IC, a condition I’ve had for many years, A mostly stable condition but then I do something stupid and it flares up to remind me that I have a sensitive bladder

The past two days I’ve been working on all the 4 inch ceramic tiles that I removed from GG, I’m sure I must have 100 tiles and I wanted to use alcohol inks and resin.. I have a very good respirator. One day I spent the day in the rv because too hot to make them outside or in the studio, alcohol fumes in the rv without good ventilation was stupid and to confound further I did the same in the studio the next day with the resin. So by afternoon I was in bladder hell, and today will be unpleasant. I did it to myself! Using the respirator is not comfortable and would have probably made a difference in how I feel today. You may wonder, toxic fumes affecting my bladder? Absolutely!

I discovered a better way to finish these tiles. Instead of painting directly on the tiles, I’m using the inks on a large sheet of yupo paper that the inks glide over, then cut the papers the size of the tile. Then varnish, no more dealing with the resin, because they didn’t turn out well, these are pretty cute but still need to add backs clean up the edges, make a hole for ribbon on the wood squares.

I’ll need to lighten some parts I see

About the move, I change my mind every day. I’ve decided to go to South Carolina for my granddaughter ‘s wedding, can’t miss this event, it’s in October so I will drive with Charley to leave him with my son or sister and fly out of Dallas. Spend a couple days in SC return and spend some time in Dallas before making the long drive home. When that is completed I’ll see about My move, probably to Truth or Consequences before Christmas.

All is well on the singles site, haven’t met anymore idiots, a couple possible meets soon, all good.

I took some new ‘selfies’ today…..

Because I couldn’t get them added to the silver singles site, the site is hard to edit photos and I think anyone interested comes here to see me and my thoughts anyway. A couple selfies, don’t have full length because I’m embarrassed to ask anyone to take it for me. But the light was good and the photos look like me today

Click on them to make them larger, and slide. You also see bits of my RV, photos taken today. 79 years and holding, 138 lbs and also holding! So this is me, either Kate in NM , Kathy for old friends and family or legally Kathleen.

I’m being more assertive on line

Instead of sending just a smile, which I’m told most men ignore because they get dozens or more a day, I say something like “ I like your profile and see we are rated highly compatible, what do you think, check mine” or something I specifically like about their profile. I usually only smile or write to those living in the state, unless something strikes me as interesting in AZ.

I have some interesting connections but they may read here so unless they turn out badly for any reason you won’t read about them here.

I’m serious about this and don’t want too much more time to pass solita. My feet are itchy to progress, but with caution, I guess my run-in with CO man has prompted me to look around myself and wonder if this enough, just me by myself forever?

And I know it is not enough, I’ve said it before, I’m not done yet, who knows, my best years may be about to begin! I’m keeping that positive thought because that’s how it happens!

I just read an article about how to know if someone is truthful and trustworthy. Okay, it was a medium article, but it described myCO guy in so many ways and there were so many red flags I didn’t see. I should copy that article and reread it a few times to not get Involved with that type of narcissistic personality again. Innocently me! They can be so charming, can you believe we almost sold my car for a motorcycle he loves! ( ok, I agreed it would be fun, two old foggies on the bike) But I couldn’t afford it even selling my car, saved again by lack of funds, who says it’s a problem being poor? You notice who couldn’t do the affording?

Ok, I’m done won’t mention him again, out of of my system, maybe I just had to get mad to get over the whole situation, if so I thank the one who wrote that medium article whoever it was and however I came to it just when I was ready to read it. Funny how things like that just happen when you need it! Intuition?

Intuition, I just finished listening to a 5 day seminar on intuition, some fascinating information sorry I missed some of the sessions but will be investigating this further, who knows maybe I can learn something new, that’s not new but ancient knowledge and not woowooo at all.

Still working on painting my clouds but with this new plan I’ll need to get busy sorting through the accumulation of three years of stuff.

Sin mas

I feel sexy when I wear hoop but these make feel a little silly, what say u?

Music makes everything better

Don’t you agree? Find someone who enjoys the same music as you do and you think you’ve made a good connection,

Back when I thought I was in ‘love’ we’d spend hours sitting outside on my futon in the evening listening to music. I enjoyed those evenings but today I’m thankful to say I’m so over it! As a friend said to me “ I think you missed a bullet he is a narcissistic man with a huge ego who needs to be reminded and appreciated constantly of how much he helped you-and other people” He was helpful and appreciated, again and again.

So I’m glad he let me go though I wasn’t. at the time and I’ve had time to really look at myself and wonder why I dropped my defenses with this person. Remember, I wasn’t impressed with him on his arrival, I guess he wasn’t impressed with me when he departed.

Oh well, we grow with each new experience right? Now I’m more prepared to deal with what happens next in this world of silver seniors and smiles. (así es la vida de las viejas atrevidas)

Today, so far I’ve gotten 6 of the same kind of messages….wait let me check…yup another of the same, a guy wants to tell me about his friend gives me his email tells me I won’t be sorry, and I ve gotten several warnings from the site about at least 4 more guys…… change you banking info we are investigating this person! So I guess they try to keep the riffraff out. I’m not likely to give out any banking information unless it for a deposit, no not even that!

We were talking about music, how did I get so far afield? I look forward to listening to music again with a glass of wine in the evening with a new friend.

I like almost all music but I read that your favorite music is the music you heard while falling in love, that would be my Panama years and still I love romantic Spanish ballads. I remember going to see Julio Iglesias sing at a high school, colegio Javier in Panama City! Must have been very early in his career and he was perplexed because the girls knew all his songs and were singing with him, he actually stopped singing with this look o his face wondering what to do about it. I went with a friend, it was great, screaming girls and all.

Music makes everything better! And flowers do too, and a glass of wine a loving hug, and a sincere smile…….and chocolate

Can I google you? Is that a threatening question?

Apparently it was for one man who disappeared when I asked for his last name!

We had been texting about food when I asked for his last name so I could google him and he could google me, I told him my daughters would surly do the same if I told them about a new friend

I gave him my address after he told me he wanted to send me some dominos pizza, why did I do that, there’s no dominoes within 60 miles to here. I thought it was sweet. Me being trusting and stupid, like my daughter says all the time….well she doesn’t say stupid.

Where are all the good old guys? So far I’ve had no luck, what are they looking for all I see are confusing signals? Maybe I’m safer alone than trusting some stranger to respect me.

Honestly, you don’t really know anything about the people you are dealing with on line, they could make up a whole story, which is what I’ve encountered so far.maybe the good ones are more cautious and less aggressive in their approach but it hard to evaluate some stranger, living out here in the country so far from a city where you could meet for coffee or dinner. I read that some of the large dating sites offer background checks before you have a date.

This is about Todd or whatever his name is, so upset because I wrote about what I thought was going on and he said it was all a misunderstanding and he would do better and we agreed to continue to communicate….until I asked him his name! And jokingly asked if I could google him and he could google me. And that was the last I heard from him. Then I deleted our texts and thought about him having my address. I hope he is not …….mad.

Silly because when I googled myself all my info was right there for anyone who cares to look for it. I haven’t heard anything more from him and doubt I will after he reads this…….and probably has scared any other man from daring to contact me for fear they’ll end up here on the blog too.

Only the losers with a story end up here to delight and disgust my few readers. Any righteous gentleman has nothing to fear.

I have to poke fun at myself for treating all this less than seriously and would love to find a partner to laugh with me, the ridiculous idea of an almost 80 year old woman expecting to find a ( much younger) man to find me lovable is probably a crapshoot!

I had thought to not publish this immediately but what the heck, I think that bus is gone.

Sin mas

Stranger things I know not…..he’s back, we spoke on the phone he doesn’t sound like the man in the photo looks! Interesting, he’s going to take a selfie today

More to come here, curious to match his voice with his face and his accent which doesn’t sound “Spanish/American “ but perhaps Asian? What’s going on here? Why hasn’t he disappeared as I would expect but keeps coming back?

Okay, now he really has disappeared so Todd is history, deleted and done. My spirit of adventure is slightly disappointed!

The down side to online dating you meet too many insensitive insincere men

I’ve met a few recently, I don’t understand them

There’s a Todd out there, probably not really his name-don’t know much about the man just enough to know he has a big story that he tried to sell and then tired of the chase and disappeared without saying goodbye. Cross him off my board,delete his number block mine. This is a tough business, not for the tender hearted, must stay safe

I may have been too hasty, again, I guess I should wait to publish my thoughts and give myself time to understand as I have heard from Todd and he is only guilty of being new to online dating, texting and falling asleep between notes. We may laugh about this some day so I’m not deleting it today. So sorry Todd, let’s see where this goes.

Next is my artist ‘friend’ we were meeting face to face tomorrow but I haven’t heard back about time or place so…nada. Cross him off my board., he wanted to at least be friends? Really?

Both these guys read here, I think maybe not anymore! I’m not spending any more money or time on this, when my 3 months are up that’s it I won’t renew and I’ll get back to living my life which is a very good life even living it alone.. these guys and others ruin what could be a good experience for two people, now I don’t trust and will be more careful, less open until…..how to trust the well intended when there are so many crackpots out there, so far that type is all I’ve been unfortunate to meet.

New topic, also disgusting

You know I had not had a tv for about ten years but recently bought a small one, yesterday I saw an ad about pubic hair, I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears, what a low culture we have become…. Really sad about this! I quit watching years ago because I didn’t like being exposed to all the consumer noise, and the trashy stuff, I’m no princess, I know life, been there, done that but there should be some limits ! I despair at the level of poor taste I see on the tube…(why do we still refer to it as the tube? Probably no one but me does.)I guess I’ll just watch heartland and mute the multiple interruptions. And maybe some pbs.

I guess this is my bitching space tonight, nevertheless life is good despite those who try to fool you, disrespect you…….we just let it go…..after bitching about it of course. Peace.

Sin mas