I have high hopes for the future

Change your thoughts, change your life.

I’m doing a lot of positive thinking these days because I sense change is in my future. Positive change if I can trust and believe all I’m told, it’s what’s written on the wind, its a gust of fresh air and a new rainbow in the eastern sky. Okay I don’t know where that came from! I did see a rainbow this morning!

A new opportunity presents itself, I’m ready for change, I’ve closed one door for another to open. But it depends on so many factors I’m not in charge of so I can only be myself and hope that I can share the life of another free spirit chosen for me.

My plans change from day to day, I know what I want to happen, I want to be in love and be loved again truly and trusting and honestly. I’m ready to turn the page and start fresh with a new plan for my future hopefully not alone but if alone ready to create a new page in my diary always learning something new about myself and this world I’ve created. Something I just read…

If you are looking for someone to change your future, look in the mirror!

I’m looking deeply into other states of mind, intuition, astrology and even ordered some tarot cards which I won’t know what to do with, just opening my mind to other realities without censoring anything looking more closely to see if I’ve missed something useful, some unexpected knowledge that might benefit me or someone else.

Zacbushmd.com/blog, this man was recommended by CO man and is the best thing Ive gotten from him, besides fixing electrical gadgets, I highly recommend this blog to inform yourself about the state of our world and humanity. And what can be done to save us from a dying off of our planet earth.

Sin mas

And now he wants back!

I can hardly believe him, Am I expected to forgive him? Am I stupid? Am I so lonely that his behavior is acceptable? no, No, No!

He says the fact that I didn’t need him while redoing, repainting GG made him unhappy so when another woman offered to drive back to CO to help him with cleaning out his rv he said sure thing and left with her. No matter that I didn’t know about this person, no matter that I was confused and crying for days. No matter that I had offered to go with him to help him, no matter at all.

I guess I expected more from him because of his background, I expected honor, Truth, sincerity and I got none of that. Now he’s sorry, very sorry because that woman didn’t turn out to be helpful after all and he ended up bring her back home, neither feeling friendly toward the other.

I told him I thought he must be a narcissistic fool, to love one day and the next be totally over it with no feeling left for the person supposedly loved. I told him he was an ass hole, he agreed.

Told him I could forgive him, I thought him foolish to think we could go back to being as we were, even friendship was unlikely at this point. He cried, I did not, I’m over him, disappointed in him, he should move on as I am.

Colorado man returns? why?

What do you think about this development, certainly unexpected and uninvited.

He left me, we were barely friendly when he left me, yet he was always ready to help me as my friend and he did, as a friend, and yet he left me

And now what does he expect by coming back?

I have nothing left for him, maybe that friendship he expressed when he left me, that might work, but I’ve learned about his personality type and of relationships within the type and that’s not acceptable to me now.

I’m thankful that I took the time to understand what happened. He’s a man who can be a good friend who loves you one day and the next, you’re just someone he knows.

He should just keep traveling

But I am curious. I’m curious to know how everything back home turned out when he got there as he never communicated how it all went. So I’m curious as a disinterested friend might be.

I’m very content right now, I have a developing relationship that I believe is healthy and promising and nothing is going to change that.

Ghost clouds

I am My own worst enemy!

Do you ever do dumb things, I am especially careless in one regard, my bladder health. I’ve written here before about IC, a condition I’ve had for many years, A mostly stable condition but then I do something stupid and it flares up to remind me that I have a sensitive bladder

The past two days I’ve been working on all the 4 inch ceramic tiles that I removed from GG, I’m sure I must have 100 tiles and I wanted to use alcohol inks and resin.. I have a very good respirator. One day I spent the day in the rv because too hot to make them outside or in the studio, alcohol fumes in the rv without good ventilation was stupid and to confound further I did the same in the studio the next day with the resin. So by afternoon I was in bladder hell, and today will be unpleasant. I did it to myself! Using the respirator is not comfortable and would have probably made a difference in how I feel today. You may wonder, toxic fumes affecting my bladder? Absolutely!

I discovered a better way to finish these tiles. Instead of painting directly on the tiles, I’m using the inks on a large sheet of yupo paper that the inks glide over, then cut the papers the size of the tile. Then varnish, no more dealing with the resin, because they didn’t turn out well, these are pretty cute but still need to add backs clean up the edges, make a hole for ribbon on the wood squares.

I’ll need to lighten some parts I see

About the move, I change my mind every day. I’ve decided to go to South Carolina for my granddaughter ‘s wedding, can’t miss this event, it’s in October so I will drive with Charley to leave him with my son or sister and fly out of Dallas. Spend a couple days in SC return and spend some time in Dallas before making the long drive home. When that is completed I’ll see about My move, probably to Truth or Consequences before Christmas.

All is well on the singles site, haven’t met anymore idiots, a couple possible meets soon, all good.

Face to face…..to morrow

I’m feeling a little anxious, we’re meeting for the first time in a place about half way between where I am and where he lives, in a small town I’ve never been at noon for lunch. Should be fun, right? We haven’t spoken or texted much so I don’t know much about him but he was happy to let me google him so I know a little about him so I’m not worried safety wise. Que será será!

I wasted this whole day on the bendito tiles using alcohol inks. I wanted to do something with all the tiles I took out of GG, I cleaned them up and thought I’d use the inks but they are not good but I hate to give up so I’ll probably use up the rest of the inks. I like the one that looks like an elephant, sorta, ….squint

Alcohol inks

My tracker told me it’s time to sleep an hour ago and I wish I was asleep but I’m up because my rls (restless legs) won’t let me, so I’m here and there looking for something to sooth them, I’ve tried reading but couldn’t stay still,so I’ve eaten some frozen peaches, crackers, now I’ll make some tea, or I’ll bake cookies anything to distract the legs!

Get in charge of your thoughts I have this written on my fridge. Listening to the intuition videos has opened up some interest in learning more about the power of the mind. You think if we all thought positive thoughts the word would be better? There should be a world wide ‘Good Thoughts Day why not? Sending good thoughts out to the universe to counter balance all the ass holes! What a day that would be!

I’m waiting for my lunch date at this very cute original OWL bar and cafe inSan Antonio NM about 70 miles north of Caballo, café has been open since 1930s

Added later

Good conversation but the distance is too great to pursue further conversation.we agreed and we each had a very good hamburger and onion rings and said adios

I took some new ‘selfies’ today…..

Because I couldn’t get them added to the silver singles site, the site is hard to edit photos and I think anyone interested comes here to see me and my thoughts anyway. A couple selfies, don’t have full length because I’m embarrassed to ask anyone to take it for me. But the light was good and the photos look like me today

Click on them to make them larger, and slide. You also see bits of my RV, photos taken today. 79 years and holding, 138 lbs and also holding! So this is me, either Kate in NM , Kathy for old friends and family or legally Kathleen.

I’m being more assertive on line

Instead of sending just a smile, which I’m told most men ignore because they get dozens or more a day, I say something like “ I like your profile and see we are rated highly compatible, what do you think, check mine” or something I specifically like about their profile. I usually only smile or write to those living in the state, unless something strikes me as interesting in AZ.

I have some interesting connections but they may read here so unless they turn out badly for any reason you won’t read about them here.

I’m serious about this and don’t want too much more time to pass solita. My feet are itchy to progress, but with caution, I guess my run-in with CO man has prompted me to look around myself and wonder if this enough, just me by myself forever?

And I know it is not enough, I’ve said it before, I’m not done yet, who knows, my best years may be about to begin! I’m keeping that positive thought because that’s how it happens!

I just read an article about how to know if someone is truthful and trustworthy. Okay, it was a medium article, but it described myCO guy in so many ways and there were so many red flags I didn’t see. I should copy that article and reread it a few times to not get Involved with that type of narcissistic personality again. Innocently me! They can be so charming, can you believe we almost sold my car for a motorcycle he loves! ( ok, I agreed it would be fun, two old foggies on the bike) But I couldn’t afford it even selling my car, saved again by lack of funds, who says it’s a problem being poor? You notice who couldn’t do the affording?

Ok, I’m done won’t mention him again, out of of my system, maybe I just had to get mad to get over the whole situation, if so I thank the one who wrote that medium article whoever it was and however I came to it just when I was ready to read it. Funny how things like that just happen when you need it! Intuition?

Intuition, I just finished listening to a 5 day seminar on intuition, some fascinating information sorry I missed some of the sessions but will be investigating this further, who knows maybe I can learn something new, that’s not new but ancient knowledge and not woowooo at all.

Still working on painting my clouds but with this new plan I’ll need to get busy sorting through the accumulation of three years of stuff.

Sin mas

I feel sexy when I wear hoop but these make feel a little silly, what say u?

Making plans to skidaddle this place

Skidaddle, did I just make up this word or just misspelled the word, to leave a place quickly……Actually I don’t think I’ll leave quickly but I’m thinking I’ve spent too much time here while doing nothing useful for myself or anyone else.

I think I heard my Mom say skidaddle, probably telling me to go outside to play

I’m going to check out new places around the state parks, get Gg ready to travel and figure out how to tow my smart car. I’ll need to find a trailer because it’s not recommended to tow with tires on the ground ……..they have them at this tractor place for about $1200 but the weight of my car is 200 lbs more than the trailer’ capacity, I wonder if that’s a deal breaker, other than that it’s perfect.

Smart car trailer, I hope!

My car is tiny but made of steel!

Today has been busy, outside all day as I returned all my paint brushes and stuff back to the studio. There was a cooling breeze today so I raised the umbrella to shade the front of the studio door and I have fans inside so I spent most of the day outside painting until I went to town to look at the trailers and pick up at few things at Walmart.

I have a few thoughts about what to do about my studio if ….when I leave cuz I can’t take it with me. I’m thinking I’d clean it out put up a for sale sign and keep paying my rent here til it sells to someone who wants the garden and the studio and this site. Yes I think that’s a plan and will let me move sooner. In the studio I have a fridge,ACx2 some furniture , someone can finish it. I’ll need to get up to the loft to start sorting out what’s up there and wonder what to do with everything!

Meanwhile the search continues and I’ve met some nice men, well I haven’t met yet but am getting closer to face to face meets, I’m hoping that they won’t turn up here in the fools pile!

Sin mas

Music makes everything better

Don’t you agree? Find someone who enjoys the same music as you do and you think you’ve made a good connection,

Back when I thought I was in ‘love’ we’d spend hours sitting outside on my futon in the evening listening to music. I enjoyed those evenings but today I’m thankful to say I’m so over it! As a friend said to me “ I think you missed a bullet he is a narcissistic man with a huge ego who needs to be reminded and appreciated constantly of how much he helped you-and other people” He was helpful and appreciated, again and again.

So I’m glad he let me go though I wasn’t. at the time and I’ve had time to really look at myself and wonder why I dropped my defenses with this person. Remember, I wasn’t impressed with him on his arrival, I guess he wasn’t impressed with me when he departed.

Oh well, we grow with each new experience right? Now I’m more prepared to deal with what happens next in this world of silver seniors and smiles. (así es la vida de las viejas atrevidas)

Today, so far I’ve gotten 6 of the same kind of messages….wait let me check…yup another of the same, a guy wants to tell me about his friend gives me his email tells me I won’t be sorry, and I ve gotten several warnings from the site about at least 4 more guys…… change you banking info we are investigating this person! So I guess they try to keep the riffraff out. I’m not likely to give out any banking information unless it for a deposit, no not even that!

We were talking about music, how did I get so far afield? I look forward to listening to music again with a glass of wine in the evening with a new friend.

I like almost all music but I read that your favorite music is the music you heard while falling in love, that would be my Panama years and still I love romantic Spanish ballads. I remember going to see Julio Iglesias sing at a high school, colegio Javier in Panama City! Must have been very early in his career and he was perplexed because the girls knew all his songs and were singing with him, he actually stopped singing with this look o his face wondering what to do about it. I went with a friend, it was great, screaming girls and all.

Music makes everything better! And flowers do too, and a glass of wine a loving hug, and a sincere smile…….and chocolate