I am My own worst enemy!

Do you ever do dumb things, I am especially careless in one regard, my bladder health. I’ve written here before about IC, a condition I’ve had for many years, A mostly stable condition but then I do something stupid and it flares up to remind me that I have a sensitive bladder

The past two days I’ve been working on all the 4 inch ceramic tiles that I removed from GG, I’m sure I must have 100 tiles and I wanted to use alcohol inks and resin.. I have a very good respirator. One day I spent the day in the rv because too hot to make them outside or in the studio, alcohol fumes in the rv without good ventilation was stupid and to confound further I did the same in the studio the next day with the resin. So by afternoon I was in bladder hell, and today will be unpleasant. I did it to myself! Using the respirator is not comfortable and would have probably made a difference in how I feel today. You may wonder, toxic fumes affecting my bladder? Absolutely!

I discovered a better way to finish these tiles. Instead of painting directly on the tiles, I’m using the inks on a large sheet of yupo paper that the inks glide over, then cut the papers the size of the tile. Then varnish, no more dealing with the resin, because they didn’t turn out well, these are pretty cute but still need to add backs clean up the edges, make a hole for ribbon on the wood squares.

I’ll need to lighten some parts I see

About the move, I change my mind every day. I’ve decided to go to South Carolina for my granddaughter ‘s wedding, can’t miss this event, it’s in October so I will drive with Charley to leave him with my son or sister and fly out of Dallas. Spend a couple days in SC return and spend some time in Dallas before making the long drive home. When that is completed I’ll see about My move, probably to Truth or Consequences before Christmas.

All is well on the singles site, haven’t met anymore idiots, a couple possible meets soon, all good.

Can I google you? Is that a threatening question?

Apparently it was for one man who disappeared when I asked for his last name!

We had been texting about food when I asked for his last name so I could google him and he could google me, I told him my daughters would surly do the same if I told them about a new friend

I gave him my address after he told me he wanted to send me some dominos pizza, why did I do that, there’s no dominoes within 60 miles to here. I thought it was sweet. Me being trusting and stupid, like my daughter says all the time….well she doesn’t say stupid.

Where are all the good old guys? So far I’ve had no luck, what are they looking for all I see are confusing signals? Maybe I’m safer alone than trusting some stranger to respect me.

Honestly, you don’t really know anything about the people you are dealing with on line, they could make up a whole story, which is what I’ve encountered so far.maybe the good ones are more cautious and less aggressive in their approach but it hard to evaluate some stranger, living out here in the country so far from a city where you could meet for coffee or dinner. I read that some of the large dating sites offer background checks before you have a date.

This is about Todd or whatever his name is, so upset because I wrote about what I thought was going on and he said it was all a misunderstanding and he would do better and we agreed to continue to communicate….until I asked him his name! And jokingly asked if I could google him and he could google me. And that was the last I heard from him. Then I deleted our texts and thought about him having my address. I hope he is not …….mad.

Silly because when I googled myself all my info was right there for anyone who cares to look for it. I haven’t heard anything more from him and doubt I will after he reads this…….and probably has scared any other man from daring to contact me for fear they’ll end up here on the blog too.

Only the losers with a story end up here to delight and disgust my few readers. Any righteous gentleman has nothing to fear.

I have to poke fun at myself for treating all this less than seriously and would love to find a partner to laugh with me, the ridiculous idea of an almost 80 year old woman expecting to find a ( much younger) man to find me lovable is probably a crapshoot!

I had thought to not publish this immediately but what the heck, I think that bus is gone.

Sin mas

Stranger things I know not…..he’s back, we spoke on the phone he doesn’t sound like the man in the photo looks! Interesting, he’s going to take a selfie today

More to come here, curious to match his voice with his face and his accent which doesn’t sound “Spanish/American “ but perhaps Asian? What’s going on here? Why hasn’t he disappeared as I would expect but keeps coming back?

Okay, now he really has disappeared so Todd is history, deleted and done. My spirit of adventure is slightly disappointed!

When there isn’t a man to help you out

You do it yourself. Today was one of those problems you wish you had help with. My Rhino sewer Hose sprung a leak in the worse posible place, no, any leak in the tube is bad and disgustingly stinky. First I thought of duck tape to hold it for now but ended up going to town to get a new one. I’ll replace it later when the day cools it 101 degrees now of course it doesn’t leak when the valve is closed. I would guess that none of the other woman (with spouses ) ever deal with the dark tank. Not that it’s a big deal to manage but those jobs and taking out the trash seem to be done by men. I not looking for a man to do my chores!

Not even sure I’m looking for a man. Seems futile, I’ve started to refer my”smiles” here. I think it should save us time, either I sound interesting and he’s eager to learn more or he’s turned off by my life style, how I think and who I am. Not even sure I want to rejoin the society I left, but I’ve done harder things and could probably do so if someone special wanted me to try. Face to face meeting s are hard to arrange, but are not the most important part for me. How a person looks or how I look to anyone without background isn’t helpful to me.

Just finished a good book The girl in his shadow by Audrey Blake from the global book club. It’s about medicine in 1845 and the role of women in medicine at that time. A good fast read from “ Libby” library app.

While at Walmart I picked up a couple more canvases to work on so space in my rv is tight but the studio is steamy my insulation is not adequate for summer in Caballo.

Next day…….

I tried to replace the sewer hose and it doesn’t fit the fitting into the sewer!! Damn! So tomorrow I have to go back and try again and the box got wet in last night downpour, bummer!

Sin mas

Start of a new painting (que te parece?)

Today I decided it was time to bring in all my painting gear to paint inside with the air on. Too many early morns or lateYea turret see nights trying to paint in the studio was just too hard because of the heat and I want to use my time better, so this is what I worked on today but haven’t finished not sure where I want to go with it. Got ideas?

A few lines
Some color
More color
Finished

What’s missing?

I know I’m writing here too often and risk loosing my few readers but I seem to need to do this now.

Besides painting this today I listened to the wondrium video on France, very engaging my wine comes in a box, doubt that would ever happen in France. Did you know that in France they are more careful about their food and agriculture then here in the US, no insecticide no ufo. No that’s not what I mean you know no …….GMO. They also get better social benefits and paid vacations, seems like a nice place to live but for the snooty Parisians! (sorry, I saw a few episodes of Emily goes to Paris)

Before I close this up for tonight I checked my messages from”SilverSingles “ and have yet another message from of those

“I have a friend” messages.

I never respond to them but wonder about them, what is the point of them? Someone told me that they sell your email? Seems silly, your email is out there, I already get a lot of junk email, what’s the point? Any one know about this?

Oops someone just sent me a smile, should I smile back? Where is Sagle? He’s interesting, a geologist I may smile back and say hello!

Sin mas

Been living in my head….

Too much for the past few weeks, it’s a rowdy noisy self preoccupied space that shouldn’t be indulged for too long a time at the danger of being judged a neurotic woman.

And you know me as a calm and refined person unlikely to go off spouting mean thoughts and nasty words to or about anyone without great cause.

There was cause.

But let’s forget about all that…..An aberration, an unfortunate ending but still not all is regret, with the regret were hours of shared enjoyment not a small thing for me.

Peach picking is fun too! Yesterday I picked peaches with a friend, today I washed them, cut them up put them in bags and popped them in the freezer, after making a peach smoothie YUM.

It’s going to be another hot one in Caballo and I noticed that I can watch three versions of the matrix on my new roko tv, can you imagine I’ve never seen them? what is real? Dream world AI……….a wasted afternoon!

Nothing happening on the old singles site, I think it was a fluke that anyone responded at all. I’d signed up for three months, after that I’ll just remember I’m content if not always joyful and get back to what makes me happy, making something.

Sin mas

Evening skies

Not even a breeze today boring notes

So the ac is on early today, with my little fan I don’t need to use the ac at night, but the afternoons are very hot which means I can only exercise my brain not my body. I haven’t had the energy to get up very early to walk and later I don’t even let Charlie out because I think it’s too hot for his feet, when he has to go, he runs fast, pees and races home.

Yesterday I sat outside with my “wind fan” and umbrella until afternoon cleaning up all the tiles I took down from inside, I’m thinking to cover them with alcohol inks. That was a fun project I’ll make again and take them to a new shop in town that opened up recently. I’ll need to order new alcohol inks and make or order some stickers and backs for the tiles, a fun project.

I have a large canvas that I’m painting clouds, just clouds, I think it’s the fourth painting I’ve done on this canvas, maybe the last, the cloud formations in this monsoons season are spectacular! so far what I have on my canvas is not!

What are your thoughts about astrology? I’ve been trying to understand what happened between JP and I by looking deeply at myself. I had my chart made and have 6 months worth of help to understand myself at least.

I’m also taking a couple courses in writing daily to ‘unlock my inner self’ and am going to use a journal to write in instead of pouring out my angst here. Privately writing I won’t care how many misspelled words and grammatical errors I make! True I don’t try real hard here

Not sure how helpful this will be to me but I’m trying to understand myself. Of course he may have been just be fickle…..a fluke…..a false friend, a fake or just a complicated man who changed his mind, it will be difficult for me to find a man who will understand my life and not see me as a ‘trailer trash ‘ without options. I feel like they may not see me as an educated woman who chose this lifestyle and is basically happy living it. He understood, or seemed to, maybe not.

One of those Days

Wondrium is an excellent way to keep your brain agile or just enjoy learning.

If you want to keep learning stuff this is an excellent option for that is cost effective if you keep at it. $20 a month or less seems like a great deal if you consistently use the service. I have started and stopped a few different classes but you can come back to them any time to resume the class. Huge number of classes, I like history and art but the options are many in many different subjects, even dance classes!

I’m listening to lectures on modern warfare as kind of a follow up to a book I finally finished by Paul Kennedy “The Rise and Fall of the Great Powers. “It took me awhile to get through this dense book and I probably won’t remember details but I enjoyed the authors ability to keep me involved in a historical age from 1500 to 2000. I wish it had included more recent world events, but I suspect there are plenty of books written about the current pathetic state of affairs.

While I’m busy doing something else I’m avidly listening to “France through the ages” with lecture given in a easy to listen to french accent. The war lecture was getting into the weapons used in modern warfare and kind of lost me so touring France is much more pleasant, I can get back to war later, or forget about it.

It’s going to get very hot for the next few days…..weeks so that means I’ll have to be inside with the ac on all the time, I hate being so closed in with windows shut ! Charley doesn’t like it either, his favorite stop to sleep is in his bed under the RV but he’s anxious to come back in after being outside only a short time. Sometimes I can go out at night to mess about in the studio or sit outside to listen to music, just to get out of the rv for awhile before I go to sleep.

Mola design

dissolution

Is that one s or two? Colorado man would know and has corrected a few of my posts as he is a champion speller and understands basic grammar and punctuation. All I do is write whatever comes to my mind not always following the rules, I have some ignorance gaps here and there, I am not bothered by them cuz I compensate in other areas of importance, like honestly. I am honestly an honest woman. Colorado man doesn’t lie he just doesn’t tell the truth, there is a difference