I’m being more assertive on line

Instead of sending just a smile, which I’m told most men ignore because they get dozens or more a day, I say something like “ I like your profile and see we are rated highly compatible, what do you think, check mine” or something I specifically like about their profile. I usually only smile or write to those living in the state, unless something strikes me as interesting in AZ.

I have some interesting connections but they may read here so unless they turn out badly for any reason you won’t read about them here.

I’m serious about this and don’t want too much more time to pass solita. My feet are itchy to progress, but with caution, I guess my run-in with CO man has prompted me to look around myself and wonder if this enough, just me by myself forever?

And I know it is not enough, I’ve said it before, I’m not done yet, who knows, my best years may be about to begin! I’m keeping that positive thought because that’s how it happens!

I just read an article about how to know if someone is truthful and trustworthy. Okay, it was a medium article, but it described myCO guy in so many ways and there were so many red flags I didn’t see. I should copy that article and reread it a few times to not get Involved with that type of narcissistic personality again. Innocently me! They can be so charming, can you believe we almost sold my car for a motorcycle he loves! ( ok, I agreed it would be fun, two old foggies on the bike) But I couldn’t afford it even selling my car, saved again by lack of funds, who says it’s a problem being poor? You notice who couldn’t do the affording?

Ok, I’m done won’t mention him again, out of of my system, maybe I just had to get mad to get over the whole situation, if so I thank the one who wrote that medium article whoever it was and however I came to it just when I was ready to read it. Funny how things like that just happen when you need it! Intuition?

Intuition, I just finished listening to a 5 day seminar on intuition, some fascinating information sorry I missed some of the sessions but will be investigating this further, who knows maybe I can learn something new, that’s not new but ancient knowledge and not woowooo at all.

Still working on painting my clouds but with this new plan I’ll need to get busy sorting through the accumulation of three years of stuff.

Sin mas

I feel sexy when I wear hoop but these make feel a little silly, what say u?

Can I google you? Is that a threatening question?

Apparently it was for one man who disappeared when I asked for his last name!

We had been texting about food when I asked for his last name so I could google him and he could google me, I told him my daughters would surly do the same if I told them about a new friend

I gave him my address after he told me he wanted to send me some dominos pizza, why did I do that, there’s no dominoes within 60 miles to here. I thought it was sweet. Me being trusting and stupid, like my daughter says all the time….well she doesn’t say stupid.

Where are all the good old guys? So far I’ve had no luck, what are they looking for all I see are confusing signals? Maybe I’m safer alone than trusting some stranger to respect me.

Honestly, you don’t really know anything about the people you are dealing with on line, they could make up a whole story, which is what I’ve encountered so far.maybe the good ones are more cautious and less aggressive in their approach but it hard to evaluate some stranger, living out here in the country so far from a city where you could meet for coffee or dinner. I read that some of the large dating sites offer background checks before you have a date.

This is about Todd or whatever his name is, so upset because I wrote about what I thought was going on and he said it was all a misunderstanding and he would do better and we agreed to continue to communicate….until I asked him his name! And jokingly asked if I could google him and he could google me. And that was the last I heard from him. Then I deleted our texts and thought about him having my address. I hope he is not …….mad.

Silly because when I googled myself all my info was right there for anyone who cares to look for it. I haven’t heard anything more from him and doubt I will after he reads this…….and probably has scared any other man from daring to contact me for fear they’ll end up here on the blog too.

Only the losers with a story end up here to delight and disgust my few readers. Any righteous gentleman has nothing to fear.

I have to poke fun at myself for treating all this less than seriously and would love to find a partner to laugh with me, the ridiculous idea of an almost 80 year old woman expecting to find a ( much younger) man to find me lovable is probably a crapshoot!

I had thought to not publish this immediately but what the heck, I think that bus is gone.

Sin mas

Stranger things I know not…..he’s back, we spoke on the phone he doesn’t sound like the man in the photo looks! Interesting, he’s going to take a selfie today

More to come here, curious to match his voice with his face and his accent which doesn’t sound “Spanish/American “ but perhaps Asian? What’s going on here? Why hasn’t he disappeared as I would expect but keeps coming back?

Okay, now he really has disappeared so Todd is history, deleted and done. My spirit of adventure is slightly disappointed!

Start of a new painting (que te parece?)

Today I decided it was time to bring in all my painting gear to paint inside with the air on. Too many early morns or lateYea turret see nights trying to paint in the studio was just too hard because of the heat and I want to use my time better, so this is what I worked on today but haven’t finished not sure where I want to go with it. Got ideas?

A few lines
Some color
More color
Finished

What’s missing?

I know I’m writing here too often and risk loosing my few readers but I seem to need to do this now.

Besides painting this today I listened to the wondrium video on France, very engaging my wine comes in a box, doubt that would ever happen in France. Did you know that in France they are more careful about their food and agriculture then here in the US, no insecticide no ufo. No that’s not what I mean you know no …….GMO. They also get better social benefits and paid vacations, seems like a nice place to live but for the snooty Parisians! (sorry, I saw a few episodes of Emily goes to Paris)

Before I close this up for tonight I checked my messages from”SilverSingles “ and have yet another message from of those

“I have a friend” messages.

I never respond to them but wonder about them, what is the point of them? Someone told me that they sell your email? Seems silly, your email is out there, I already get a lot of junk email, what’s the point? Any one know about this?

Oops someone just sent me a smile, should I smile back? Where is Sagle? He’s interesting, a geologist I may smile back and say hello!

Sin mas

Could Me and He Become a “We”

I’ve commented here and there that in my marriage I often felt we were often just a he and a she, rarely a we, and now at this late date maybe………

My man from Colorado John Paul is here.and he is living right across the street, for now.

We will probably have to move somewhere because CJ (owner) is being a hard ass about the fact the JP wasn’t able to arrive when he said he would, a situation that was out of his hands. I think she holds onto her power over her tenents very unfairly and doesn’t like me much.

We’ve been spending time together, walking, shopping, talking a lot, and some cuddling which felt very nice……….it’s been a long time since I was cuddled. We have common interests and despite some strong disaggreements, we can find common ground and ignore the rest. Why waste our time, which is not much time, on disagreements on politics which we have no control over.

There are few pretensions left as we admit to advancing agedness, we are both in our 80th year, I’m older, just a few months, and all that aging entails, our health, our fortunes, and our families, so I’m paying attention to what matters right now, and right now a sharp intellect, patience, a kind and loving heart for all sentient beings, plus the strength to look for love again creats a powerful attraction.

Our appearance may not be as appealing as it once was, (droopy, wrinkled, soft and dentured) sophistication and superficiality has little place for our next 20 years!

So while we may not be the beautiful couple we might have been years ago and we have limited time left to share, maybe it wasn’t our time until now..

And now we want it all!

And we are going to give it our best shot!

Bravo for us.

We want it all!

High Winds in Caballo

We have to batten down the hatches as they say, because stuff is going to blow around today and for the next three days, but it’s warm and sunny and I’m so glad it’s not cold. In Chinese medicine it’s referred to as pernicious wind because of everything in the unhealthy air we breath, a mask would not be a bad idea. Today driving into town with the car window cracked I past some work being finished up on the highway and they’ve put something green on the ground that smells strong enough that it bothered my throat passing by it. I wonder what it is,Weed kill I suspect I wonder if the workers were protected applying it. The roads look great.

Colorado man should be here next week, he hasn’t been dismayed by my suspicions and has valid explanations for my concerns so I’ll be glad to see him. I’m not enthusiastic about continuing this search for the perfect man, maybe he’ll find me, I’m still on the site but distances are long and I’m busy living right now right here, one possibility has quit looking which is too bad as I enjoyed his writing and another says to let him know if Colorado man turns out to be an ass hole. Sweet!

This problem I have with Charley is really my problem I admit that I am sometimes a little lazy about keeping him on his leash for his morning dash across the street to pee. Usually he will run out pee and run back because he wants to share our morning ensure, chocolate regular not extra protein cuz we don’t like it, and go back to bed in my bed under the blankets to sleep a bit longer. But today he bolted out before I could get out to monitor the activity and didn’t come back for 10-15 minutes. I wasn’t going to get dressed and go looking for him he always comes home when he’s done something where he shouldn’t and CJ will have spotted him, Not good! So he finally appears all happy ready for sharing our ensure but surprise no ensure for Charley today! I don’t suppose he can relate that as consequences to his disappearance. I let his sleep in my bed and he was still up there when I got back from town asleep at noon.

Update Colorado man arrives late tomorrow night hungry.

Empathy is the antidote to shame

Beene Brown

I

I may have been too harsh

I hope so.

Time will tell, but what I think is bothering me is that although these 3 years in GG have been fine, I don’t think this is how I want to live for the rest of my days. I’d like some comforts. I’d like a nice bathroom with a big tub to soak in, I’d like to cook on more than one burner at a time. Life in an rv for a single woman is never really comfortable. What happens when I can’t climb up to my bed? I had an uncontrolled slide down the other day with bruises from my ankle to my knee, no real harm done and I have to just be careful but I’m at my “prime” now, how will I manage in a few more years? This causes me hesitation to accept a continuation of this life style, and I may have other options. I need to be open to other options, I am open to other options.

I’m sorry if I caused embarrassment or pain to my Colorado man who does plan to come here. It was his plan to move out of the cold and in talking decided he would move here so I don’t feel he has lost anything even if we don’t make plans together.

It has been beautiful today, but I’ve hardly been out, busy cleaning organizing and I made a big pot of vegetable soup that I will be eating for days.

I am sorry about the obnoxious ads you see here but I can write for free with them so that’s the way I’m going for now.

My sister needs to have her head shaved for some tests, I think I’ll shave mine in solidarity and hope my grey comes in without the silver fluff I’m seeing and can do nothing with., I’ll leave a bit around my face perhaps so it doesnt look too odd, but I see women all the time that shave their head and are happy with it. I’ve done it before, I wear a ball cap often so I won’t look much different.

Obviously I have nothing new to add here so I’ll just stop right here, and look for a photo to add.

on-line dating

So many lonely people is what I see on the dating site. lonely old men, from 68 to 85, most are in their 75+ range. I did see one man I could have liked to know at 85 but he is in Georgia, a retired judge, we agreed the distance was unfortunate .

The good guys don’t live in New Mexico! That is probably true, it’s a beautiful but poor state full of artists and government employees. The closest location of the men I’ve viewed are men in Arizona playing golf..

Now that I think of it, why didn’t I do this while I lived in the DC area or the Dallas area where distances would have mattered less and there would have been more available men? Because it never crossed my mind! That’s just like me too late for the party!

I think about friends from my Panama years, some I worked with everyday are gone, yet here am I wondering what’s next and if this is what’s next. I’m not one to plan far ahead but honestly I’m pretty satisfied with how things are for me right now, but I question if this will be a satisfactory long term plan for me,a 79 year old woman with limited resources and good health.

I guess this is what I’ll be writing about now. I check to see if there’s anyone new on my list of available men and see if anyone has answered or written me a note, I wonder about those personality tests and how some seem compatible when I definitely don’t think we would be. There is one that is super high so I wrote to ask him, why he thought that could be but he hasn’t answered me so maybe not?

It was a Hesitant half step into dating and a quick back step out

He doesn’t like dogs! I mean he really doesn’t like dogs, he dislikes them more than he wants to get to know me. Thank goodness I wrote about Charley so We realized this before any more time passed. I hope he finds who he is looking for soon. As for me, I’m sorry for anyone who dislikes dogs, and I’m pretty sure my readers would agree that one has to wonder why, but I don’t think that would be our only problem, he seemed pretty rigid, doubt he’d think my life style acceptable. I gave him this web address and I’m sorry I gave it to him.

Oh well, life goes on here in Caballo

Problem today is that my hose is not working because it’s stuffed full of green slimy algae like stuff…but it’s not the hose, I’ve had this problem before and was able to fix it then, now I’m not too sure.

Fixed it, for now, yup, the filter was full of this stuff, maybe with this super hose it won’t keep happening. I do use a brita for drinking water.

Sunny today, but chilly

I took my plants out to enjoy a few rays and spent some time in the studio with my man Bocelli on amazon , and walked with Charleykins to the dog park. I may take a nap, its unlikly but I wish I could be a nap taker, I could use the extra sleep.

Just got an email from Elite telling me my account was never deleted, which is different from” your account has been deleted” so I guess I have 6 months to find my “soulmate”.

Something to think about, there’s a lot of old men out there, lonely people looking for a companion. Not sure there is room in my life, I would have to be swept off my feet to give up this paradise I’m living! I would have to be treasured and taken care of, not be someone ‘s nurse. Which at this point is what old men are looking for, not to be cynical it can be hard accepting reality.

But a few years with a good man might not be so bad, could I finally become a we instead of just a me?

Hmmmm