I took some new ‘selfies’ today…..

Because I couldn’t get them added to the silver singles site, the site is hard to edit photos and I think anyone interested comes here to see me and my thoughts anyway. A couple selfies, don’t have full length because I’m embarrassed to ask anyone to take it for me. But the light was good and the photos look like me today

Click on them to make them larger, and slide. You also see bits of my RV, photos taken today. 79 years and holding, 138 lbs and also holding! So this is me, either Kate in NM , Kathy for old friends and family or legally Kathleen.

I’m being more assertive on line

Instead of sending just a smile, which I’m told most men ignore because they get dozens or more a day, I say something like “ I like your profile and see we are rated highly compatible, what do you think, check mine” or something I specifically like about their profile. I usually only smile or write to those living in the state, unless something strikes me as interesting in AZ.

I have some interesting connections but they may read here so unless they turn out badly for any reason you won’t read about them here.

I’m serious about this and don’t want too much more time to pass solita. My feet are itchy to progress, but with caution, I guess my run-in with CO man has prompted me to look around myself and wonder if this enough, just me by myself forever?

And I know it is not enough, I’ve said it before, I’m not done yet, who knows, my best years may be about to begin! I’m keeping that positive thought because that’s how it happens!

I just read an article about how to know if someone is truthful and trustworthy. Okay, it was a medium article, but it described myCO guy in so many ways and there were so many red flags I didn’t see. I should copy that article and reread it a few times to not get Involved with that type of narcissistic personality again. Innocently me! They can be so charming, can you believe we almost sold my car for a motorcycle he loves! ( ok, I agreed it would be fun, two old foggies on the bike) But I couldn’t afford it even selling my car, saved again by lack of funds, who says it’s a problem being poor? You notice who couldn’t do the affording?

Ok, I’m done won’t mention him again, out of of my system, maybe I just had to get mad to get over the whole situation, if so I thank the one who wrote that medium article whoever it was and however I came to it just when I was ready to read it. Funny how things like that just happen when you need it! Intuition?

Intuition, I just finished listening to a 5 day seminar on intuition, some fascinating information sorry I missed some of the sessions but will be investigating this further, who knows maybe I can learn something new, that’s not new but ancient knowledge and not woowooo at all.

Still working on painting my clouds but with this new plan I’ll need to get busy sorting through the accumulation of three years of stuff.

Sin mas

I feel sexy when I wear hoop but these make feel a little silly, what say u?

Music makes everything better

Don’t you agree? Find someone who enjoys the same music as you do and you think you’ve made a good connection,

Back when I thought I was in ‘love’ we’d spend hours sitting outside on my futon in the evening listening to music. I enjoyed those evenings but today I’m thankful to say I’m so over it! As a friend said to me “ I think you missed a bullet he is a narcissistic man with a huge ego who needs to be reminded and appreciated constantly of how much he helped you-and other people” He was helpful and appreciated, again and again.

So I’m glad he let me go though I wasn’t. at the time and I’ve had time to really look at myself and wonder why I dropped my defenses with this person. Remember, I wasn’t impressed with him on his arrival, I guess he wasn’t impressed with me when he departed.

Oh well, we grow with each new experience right? Now I’m more prepared to deal with what happens next in this world of silver seniors and smiles. (así es la vida de las viejas atrevidas)

Today, so far I’ve gotten 6 of the same kind of messages….wait let me check…yup another of the same, a guy wants to tell me about his friend gives me his email tells me I won’t be sorry, and I ve gotten several warnings from the site about at least 4 more guys…… change you banking info we are investigating this person! So I guess they try to keep the riffraff out. I’m not likely to give out any banking information unless it for a deposit, no not even that!

We were talking about music, how did I get so far afield? I look forward to listening to music again with a glass of wine in the evening with a new friend.

I like almost all music but I read that your favorite music is the music you heard while falling in love, that would be my Panama years and still I love romantic Spanish ballads. I remember going to see Julio Iglesias sing at a high school, colegio Javier in Panama City! Must have been very early in his career and he was perplexed because the girls knew all his songs and were singing with him, he actually stopped singing with this look o his face wondering what to do about it. I went with a friend, it was great, screaming girls and all.

Music makes everything better! And flowers do too, and a glass of wine a loving hug, and a sincere smile…….and chocolate

Start of a new painting (que te parece?)

Today I decided it was time to bring in all my painting gear to paint inside with the air on. Too many early morns or lateYea turret see nights trying to paint in the studio was just too hard because of the heat and I want to use my time better, so this is what I worked on today but haven’t finished not sure where I want to go with it. Got ideas?

A few lines
Some color
More color
Finished

What’s missing?

I know I’m writing here too often and risk loosing my few readers but I seem to need to do this now.

Besides painting this today I listened to the wondrium video on France, very engaging my wine comes in a box, doubt that would ever happen in France. Did you know that in France they are more careful about their food and agriculture then here in the US, no insecticide no ufo. No that’s not what I mean you know no …….GMO. They also get better social benefits and paid vacations, seems like a nice place to live but for the snooty Parisians! (sorry, I saw a few episodes of Emily goes to Paris)

Before I close this up for tonight I checked my messages from”SilverSingles “ and have yet another message from of those

“I have a friend” messages.

I never respond to them but wonder about them, what is the point of them? Someone told me that they sell your email? Seems silly, your email is out there, I already get a lot of junk email, what’s the point? Any one know about this?

Oops someone just sent me a smile, should I smile back? Where is Sagle? He’s interesting, a geologist I may smile back and say hello!

Sin mas

Probably not a great idea but

To let a new (possible) friend read here. What do you think? Could scare a good man away before I even get to know him.

Im not a complicated woman but I am very frank and open about a lot of things many would criticize me for….and do, it’s not their way but it’s my way to deal with my life, this is my story and I have lto tell it, it’s not an exciting story there are no deep secrets in the life of this lady, no shockers, that I loved and lost is not shocking that I tell about it here should not shock anyone, it’s what saves me. I’ll talk it until it’s a dead boring subject and then I’ll be left with only the good memorias.

Besides it’s a quick way to tell if I would be compatible with someone and they with me before a lot of time passes, I’m not for just anyone, we know that! Wish me safe travels it’s a bumpy road.

Last night I was cleaning my paint palette scraping off the old paint and thought what a reference that is to my life shedding the old constraints looking forward to the future and where it takes me.

Listen to what your body tells you

It is never wrong, but sometimes it’s hard to hear. I should have been paying attention but was so happy to “be in love” that when my body tried to tell me to slow down and I couldn’t, I didn’t . I’m over it, I’m sleeping better and I feel calm and a little relieved he’s gone so I can get on with my life back right where I am, yeah, not going anywhere.

So far so good, he leaves the area tomorrow and I’m feeling good about the time we spent together, like my sister says “you had fun, didn’t loose any money “ (so get over it ..implied).

She’s absolutely right and I’m ready to get back on that horse and try again…..

So I joined another site for three months. Silver Singles and have responses but the site is wonky, and I think I sent smiles indiscriminately!

I have learned about the men who tell you they found love but have a friend that’s not on the program but like my profile and want me to contact their friend by email. I got three of those messages the same day different men, I guess it’s common, trying to share the site with a buddy. But you know nothing about that person, better to skip over that message.

A man from Sedona has a cool story, new age type guy , extensive travel history if what he writes is so. Anyway, it gives me more to write about and you must be tired reading about my experience with Colorado man. Sedona man has texted me back and forth still texting at12:40 am, he reminds me of me quite a few years ago all new age ideas that are coming around again or perhaps never stopped. I may have to research Sedona energy, he sees himself as a good luck charm, he is Latino but doesn’t speak much Spanish, born in Ecuador, says he is a total astrologer. Whatever that means. Seems pretty high maintenance and too complicated for me.

I try to only communicate with men living in NM because of travel concerns not too many men in their 70s -80s are likely to travel far, me neither.

I’m meeting a man on Friday for lunch in Hatch, seems interested, good to actually meet face to face before spending much time communicating on line, I’ll update here after our lunch.I will refer to him as cruces man, he’s only 60 miles away. Wish I could ask for references!

I’m having the best day.

I painted over a painting not going anywhere and have had my music on classical all morning.

Made a very good smoothie this morning with fruit,berries, protein powder,collagen peptides,flax seed,another seed can’t remember it’s name and kale from my garden and remembered to take my supplements.

I’m taking a class where the intent is to “embrace the miracle of my body” with Deepak Chopra, on line. Maybe I can fix what ails me, he says I can!

I bought a jump rope but so far have not been able to jump off the ground much less jump the rope!

I expect to walk one mile today, I have to walk around the park one more time to complete a mile, not much, but better than yesterday cuz I sat painting too long…same which I covered over today! Having trouble getting my groove back….. if I ever had one. Nevertheless I’ll keep looking for it.

Well, my profile is being visited so I’ll go check to see by whom. Who?

Sin mas

it’s over, we loved for 3 months

It’s over, it wAs good, we loved each other for 3 months. I don’t regret any of the time spent together but it wasn’t working for so many reasons, none of which seemed insurmountable to me. We could have worked through them, but he’s taking what must be to him the easy way out and leaving me.

I guess his love for me was not too strong, that he would give up without even a discussion, well he would have but I insisted he had to talk to me, to tell me what happened , why , when…and his response is almost not worth telling, but tells me his love was superfluous, words only spoken not felt. I wish him the best and hope he gets his life together, when it does he’ll find another love, hopefully that lasts longer than 3 months. I wonder how long his other “loves” have lasted (except his marriage lasted some 20 years)

He has a complicated history. Which could explain some issues, I’m not judging him, he was too easy to love until he wasn’t, and yet I feel compassion and some broken fragments of love remain against my best judgment , I’d like to remain friends but I doubt he will bother to keep in touch , so sad, I’m so sad for him.

of course if I had written here yesterday while in distress this would not have been so understanding, I was pissed grande and deeply unhappy and the tone would have been very different. But I am an adult and can monitor my behavior after the fact if not before.

I was pretty happy before all this transpired maybe I’m just in love with the idea of loving again, of having a trusted and loving partner, I think I still have some time left at the couples site and may take another look, why not I don’t regret the time spent on it., I’m sad it’s over, really sad.sex was nice, really nice, cuddling was wonderful .

How long does it take to get over a brief romance, I’m doing fine except when suddenly tears fill my eyes but I keep on keeping on.

I’m redecorating GG with gray paints and wallpaper, many changes happening in my small life.

Sin mas