Confused by WordPress updates

This is what happens when I try to use my ipad to work, the ipad and the computer don’t seem to catch up with each other or it lets me add a photo but no way for me to add a post.

So this pic got here all by itself and I like the pic so I’ll add a note here, it was published just like that. WordPress updates often and I’m sure most bloggers are pleased with changes and how things are done. I can’t keep up I am getting behind trying to understand how all this works it’s like double hard for me lately so I’ll just go about to do my best while knowing I could do better if I really tried, or really cared or felt the need to learn something new, again.

But I am doing something new. I’ve removed all my tiles in the bathroom of my RV, Remember that I covered the whole wall with tiles covered with photos of paintings. I have them everywhere, in the kitchen, hah yes my space to cook in is hardly worthy of being called a kitchen but I have them around and over the bathroom door and at the entry.

I’ve taken them all down the tiles and scrubbed the photos off and I’m going to use alcohol inks on the tiles. The colors of the inks are vibrant and gorgeous, I’m excited. I’ve been playing with the different brands of inks and haven’t settled on one, watching utube videos for advice and ideas.

I’ll take some photos to show you, this is really fun, I sat in the studio today playing in ink for hours despite the heat with the AC running on fan next to me because if I close the door it’s too dark inside and the fan is pretty effective until it isn’t, then we go inside to blast the AC until its time to take Charley for his afternoon date in the dog park where he takes care of business, by the way, Charley has a friend he doesn’t quite know how to play with but at least they don’t mind being together and I can sit and talk with my fine neighbor while they sniff around discovering new smells, I guess that’s what they do anyway.

Well this has already been published so I guess I’ll add new tile photos tomorrow, I don’t have adhesive to put them up right now, need to remember what worked best because some of the tiles fell off the wall and I’m not sure what I used, one thing I do remember is to start from the bottom and work up carefully!

I’m getting a little Worried about Myself

I’m doing really dumb things

Showing a lack of attention

for instance,

I bought a new light for the studio at Walmart but it didn’t get home with me, probably left it in the cart.

Left clothes in the dryer at the laundry completely did not miss them until I got a text asking me if I’d forgotten them.

But the worst thing I did

I dropped my ipad in the washing machine

together with the clothes, how could I have not noticed that? I take my ipad with me to do laundry (and I’d stuck it in the laundry bag) so I can play a game while waiting. But I spent the time talking to some people so I didn’t miss the ipad and didn’t know until I took the clothes out and found it, of course destroyed, If I’d spent the time sitting and waiting I would have noticed but I wasn’t in the room while it was washed.

I almost cried! Not so much for the lost ipad but for the circumstances of its demise.

I’m almost too embarrassed to write about it here but this is my life now.

So three things in 3 days

Dumb things that had I been paying attention would not have happened. I told my daughter to be prepared, I have aged quite a bit since I’ve last seen her. Not only mentally, I have some great smile wrinkles that are new, and fragile skin. But my bones are great, they must be because I took a nasty fall getting out of the RV last week and thought I’d done damage to my knee. It hurt like hell for awhile but is getting better everyday, no broken bones and a friend added a more stable step to my door that should avoid any more falls.

Falls are one thing that can really be a danger for old ladies.

My son bought me a new Ipad!

Get Old become an Inconvenience

Get old become an inconvenience

My mind feels heavy, sluggishly languishing here  empty

my thoughts have no weight to  hold them in

they are forgotten before they  are recognized,

lost in the  void that is  my mind with no exit,

To embrace only half a thought is useless to me,

Get old become  an inconvenience .




APC_0024.jpgAs we age,  we look, feel and act differently than we did when younger,  do we have lower expectations of ourselves as we get older.?

I wonder about it because I’m not sure

I find myself diminished by my age.

I try to greet that old woman in the mirror with a smile, just before I put my teeth in my mouth and scold myself for the  need of a bridge

I’m having trouble finding myself.

Who am I now in this phase of life, no longer a nurse, no longer a spouse, a mother not needed and even in the way, without a lover or friend.

A time to contemplate and refresh, but I find myself filling my hours with busyness.

I like my busy-ness, I like making, but is it an escape from thinking  and making decisions?

I have a comfortable space with no real problems but those I invent in my mind.

Torn between staying in my comfort zone or reaching out for more, more opportunity more social interaction, more satisfaction, or remain where I am, where I can help my daughter  while my soul dies quietly in the basement,

The Problem with Old Folks

The problem with old folks

is that not everything works as it should.

or did

I don’t only mean the brain

which can become  unscrewed

 and need IMG_0261rewiring

Other parts get used up.

Some parts can be replaced,

others repaired

but nothing works as well as it did

hearing aides, eye glasses and dentures are part of the norm

after a certain age

Spare parts become available

at great human cost,

the death of one can bring new  life for another

One day no doubt

there will be more new miracle fixes

for us old folks

but please pass me by so that

I can get onto my next life time.

The Trouble with Old Folks

 is that not everything works as it did, or should!

And it’s not only the brain which can become unscrewed.

Other parts get used up, some parts can be replaced, others repaired. but they never work as well as they did.

Hearing aids, dentures and eyeglasses are part of the norm after a certain age.

Spare parts become available at great human cost, the death of one can mean life for another.

One day no doubt there will be miracle fixes but please pass me by so I can get on with my next lifetime.