Can I google you? Is that a threatening question?

Apparently it was for one man who disappeared when I asked for his last name!

We had been texting about food when I asked for his last name so I could google him and he could google me, I told him my daughters would surly do the same if I told them about a new friend

I gave him my address after he told me he wanted to send me some dominos pizza, why did I do that, there’s no dominoes within 60 miles to here. I thought it was sweet. Me being trusting and stupid, like my daughter says all the time….well she doesn’t say stupid.

Where are all the good old guys? So far I’ve had no luck, what are they looking for all I see are confusing signals? Maybe I’m safer alone than trusting some stranger to respect me.

Honestly, you don’t really know anything about the people you are dealing with on line, they could make up a whole story, which is what I’ve encountered so far.maybe the good ones are more cautious and less aggressive in their approach but it hard to evaluate some stranger, living out here in the country so far from a city where you could meet for coffee or dinner. I read that some of the large dating sites offer background checks before you have a date.

This is about Todd or whatever his name is, so upset because I wrote about what I thought was going on and he said it was all a misunderstanding and he would do better and we agreed to continue to communicate….until I asked him his name! And jokingly asked if I could google him and he could google me. And that was the last I heard from him. Then I deleted our texts and thought about him having my address. I hope he is not …….mad.

Silly because when I googled myself all my info was right there for anyone who cares to look for it. I haven’t heard anything more from him and doubt I will after he reads this…….and probably has scared any other man from daring to contact me for fear they’ll end up here on the blog too.

Only the losers with a story end up here to delight and disgust my few readers. Any righteous gentleman has nothing to fear.

I have to poke fun at myself for treating all this less than seriously and would love to find a partner to laugh with me, the ridiculous idea of an almost 80 year old woman expecting to find a ( much younger) man to find me lovable is probably a crapshoot!

I had thought to not publish this immediately but what the heck, I think that bus is gone.

Sin mas

Stranger things I know not…..he’s back, we spoke on the phone he doesn’t sound like the man in the photo looks! Interesting, he’s going to take a selfie today

More to come here, curious to match his voice with his face and his accent which doesn’t sound “Spanish/American “ but perhaps Asian? What’s going on here? Why hasn’t he disappeared as I would expect but keeps coming back?

Okay, now he really has disappeared so Todd is history, deleted and done. My spirit of adventure is slightly disappointed!

The down side to online dating you meet too many insensitive insincere men

I’ve met a few recently, I don’t understand them

There’s a Todd out there, probably not really his name-don’t know much about the man just enough to know he has a big story that he tried to sell and then tired of the chase and disappeared without saying goodbye. Cross him off my board,delete his number block mine. This is a tough business, not for the tender hearted, must stay safe

I may have been too hasty, again, I guess I should wait to publish my thoughts and give myself time to understand as I have heard from Todd and he is only guilty of being new to online dating, texting and falling asleep between notes. We may laugh about this some day so I’m not deleting it today. So sorry Todd, let’s see where this goes.

Next is my artist ‘friend’ we were meeting face to face tomorrow but I haven’t heard back about time or place so…nada. Cross him off my board., he wanted to at least be friends? Really?

Both these guys read here, I think maybe not anymore! I’m not spending any more money or time on this, when my 3 months are up that’s it I won’t renew and I’ll get back to living my life which is a very good life even living it alone.. these guys and others ruin what could be a good experience for two people, now I don’t trust and will be more careful, less open until…..how to trust the well intended when there are so many crackpots out there, so far that type is all I’ve been unfortunate to meet.

New topic, also disgusting

You know I had not had a tv for about ten years but recently bought a small one, yesterday I saw an ad about pubic hair, I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears, what a low culture we have become…. Really sad about this! I quit watching years ago because I didn’t like being exposed to all the consumer noise, and the trashy stuff, I’m no princess, I know life, been there, done that but there should be some limits ! I despair at the level of poor taste I see on the tube…(why do we still refer to it as the tube? Probably no one but me does.)I guess I’ll just watch heartland and mute the multiple interruptions. And maybe some pbs.

I guess this is my bitching space tonight, nevertheless life is good despite those who try to fool you, disrespect you…….we just let it go…..after bitching about it of course. Peace.

Sin mas

When there isn’t a man to help you out

You do it yourself. Today was one of those problems you wish you had help with. My Rhino sewer Hose sprung a leak in the worse posible place, no, any leak in the tube is bad and disgustingly stinky. First I thought of duck tape to hold it for now but ended up going to town to get a new one. I’ll replace it later when the day cools it 101 degrees now of course it doesn’t leak when the valve is closed. I would guess that none of the other woman (with spouses ) ever deal with the dark tank. Not that it’s a big deal to manage but those jobs and taking out the trash seem to be done by men. I not looking for a man to do my chores!

Not even sure I’m looking for a man. Seems futile, I’ve started to refer my”smiles” here. I think it should save us time, either I sound interesting and he’s eager to learn more or he’s turned off by my life style, how I think and who I am. Not even sure I want to rejoin the society I left, but I’ve done harder things and could probably do so if someone special wanted me to try. Face to face meeting s are hard to arrange, but are not the most important part for me. How a person looks or how I look to anyone without background isn’t helpful to me.

Just finished a good book The girl in his shadow by Audrey Blake from the global book club. It’s about medicine in 1845 and the role of women in medicine at that time. A good fast read from “ Libby” library app.

While at Walmart I picked up a couple more canvases to work on so space in my rv is tight but the studio is steamy my insulation is not adequate for summer in Caballo.

Next day…….

I tried to replace the sewer hose and it doesn’t fit the fitting into the sewer!! Damn! So tomorrow I have to go back and try again and the box got wet in last night downpour, bummer!

Sin mas

Start of a new painting (que te parece?)

Today I decided it was time to bring in all my painting gear to paint inside with the air on. Too many early morns or lateYea turret see nights trying to paint in the studio was just too hard because of the heat and I want to use my time better, so this is what I worked on today but haven’t finished not sure where I want to go with it. Got ideas?

A few lines
Some color
More color
Finished

What’s missing?

I know I’m writing here too often and risk loosing my few readers but I seem to need to do this now.

Besides painting this today I listened to the wondrium video on France, very engaging my wine comes in a box, doubt that would ever happen in France. Did you know that in France they are more careful about their food and agriculture then here in the US, no insecticide no ufo. No that’s not what I mean you know no …….GMO. They also get better social benefits and paid vacations, seems like a nice place to live but for the snooty Parisians! (sorry, I saw a few episodes of Emily goes to Paris)

Before I close this up for tonight I checked my messages from”SilverSingles “ and have yet another message from of those

“I have a friend” messages.

I never respond to them but wonder about them, what is the point of them? Someone told me that they sell your email? Seems silly, your email is out there, I already get a lot of junk email, what’s the point? Any one know about this?

Oops someone just sent me a smile, should I smile back? Where is Sagle? He’s interesting, a geologist I may smile back and say hello!

Sin mas

Probably not a great idea but

To let a new (possible) friend read here. What do you think? Could scare a good man away before I even get to know him.

Im not a complicated woman but I am very frank and open about a lot of things many would criticize me for….and do, it’s not their way but it’s my way to deal with my life, this is my story and I have lto tell it, it’s not an exciting story there are no deep secrets in the life of this lady, no shockers, that I loved and lost is not shocking that I tell about it here should not shock anyone, it’s what saves me. I’ll talk it until it’s a dead boring subject and then I’ll be left with only the good memorias.

Besides it’s a quick way to tell if I would be compatible with someone and they with me before a lot of time passes, I’m not for just anyone, we know that! Wish me safe travels it’s a bumpy road.

Last night I was cleaning my paint palette scraping off the old paint and thought what a reference that is to my life shedding the old constraints looking forward to the future and where it takes me.

Been living in my head….

Too much for the past few weeks, it’s a rowdy noisy self preoccupied space that shouldn’t be indulged for too long a time at the danger of being judged a neurotic woman.

And you know me as a calm and refined person unlikely to go off spouting mean thoughts and nasty words to or about anyone without great cause.

There was cause.

But let’s forget about all that…..An aberration, an unfortunate ending but still not all is regret, with the regret were hours of shared enjoyment not a small thing for me.

Peach picking is fun too! Yesterday I picked peaches with a friend, today I washed them, cut them up put them in bags and popped them in the freezer, after making a peach smoothie YUM.

It’s going to be another hot one in Caballo and I noticed that I can watch three versions of the matrix on my new roko tv, can you imagine I’ve never seen them? what is real? Dream world AI……….a wasted afternoon!

Nothing happening on the old singles site, I think it was a fluke that anyone responded at all. I’d signed up for three months, after that I’ll just remember I’m content if not always joyful and get back to what makes me happy, making something.

Sin mas

Evening skies

Not even a breeze today boring notes

So the ac is on early today, with my little fan I don’t need to use the ac at night, but the afternoons are very hot which means I can only exercise my brain not my body. I haven’t had the energy to get up very early to walk and later I don’t even let Charlie out because I think it’s too hot for his feet, when he has to go, he runs fast, pees and races home.

Yesterday I sat outside with my “wind fan” and umbrella until afternoon cleaning up all the tiles I took down from inside, I’m thinking to cover them with alcohol inks. That was a fun project I’ll make again and take them to a new shop in town that opened up recently. I’ll need to order new alcohol inks and make or order some stickers and backs for the tiles, a fun project.

I have a large canvas that I’m painting clouds, just clouds, I think it’s the fourth painting I’ve done on this canvas, maybe the last, the cloud formations in this monsoons season are spectacular! so far what I have on my canvas is not!

What are your thoughts about astrology? I’ve been trying to understand what happened between JP and I by looking deeply at myself. I had my chart made and have 6 months worth of help to understand myself at least.

I’m also taking a couple courses in writing daily to ‘unlock my inner self’ and am going to use a journal to write in instead of pouring out my angst here. Privately writing I won’t care how many misspelled words and grammatical errors I make! True I don’t try real hard here

Not sure how helpful this will be to me but I’m trying to understand myself. Of course he may have been just be fickle…..a fluke…..a false friend, a fake or just a complicated man who changed his mind, it will be difficult for me to find a man who will understand my life and not see me as a ‘trailer trash ‘ without options. I feel like they may not see me as an educated woman who chose this lifestyle and is basically happy living it. He understood, or seemed to, maybe not.

One of those Days

Not sure about this man

Probably should let him go without further communication but I hate to give up!

He told me so little about himself, maybe there’s little to tell, he said his life was uneventful compared to my stories, but I wonder what he wasn’t telling.

I gave him my number so we could text each other because that worked so well with Colorado man, even while he lived here we would text rather than call.

So this morning I get a text that says “I am such a big boy, Kate’s big boy”…..

damn, not what I expected!!! What is this?

He says “ it’s humor, if your searching for an exit, put it out there I’m a big boy.”

I’m wondering what kind of man he is and told him that was not what I had in mind when I offered to communicate with him. What do you think.

Run?

Creepy?

So this is actually the second time he has told me to go, it’s as though he doesn’t expect anyone to stick around. Almost a challenge.

So I texted him that I’m not interested in junkyard conversation and would only continue with a clean and decent minded man, so there we are.

Another failed contact. This may be a waste of time, hoping to find a companion at this stage may be futile, sometimes I wish I had never begun looking,

Odd, he is no longer on the site, too strange so I’ve blocked him from my phone and that’s the end of that story.

End of all stories in blue