Not even a breeze today boring notes

So the ac is on early today, with my little fan I don’t need to use the ac at night, but the afternoons are very hot which means I can only exercise my brain not my body. I haven’t had the energy to get up very early to walk and later I don’t even let Charlie out because I think it’s too hot for his feet, when he has to go, he runs fast, pees and races home.

Yesterday I sat outside with my “wind fan” and umbrella until afternoon cleaning up all the tiles I took down from inside, I’m thinking to cover them with alcohol inks. That was a fun project I’ll make again and take them to a new shop in town that opened up recently. I’ll need to order new alcohol inks and make or order some stickers and backs for the tiles, a fun project.

I have a large canvas that I’m painting clouds, just clouds, I think it’s the fourth painting I’ve done on this canvas, maybe the last, the cloud formations in this monsoons season are spectacular! so far what I have on my canvas is not!

What are your thoughts about astrology? I’ve been trying to understand what happened between JP and I by looking deeply at myself. I had my chart made and have 6 months worth of help to understand myself at least.

I’m also taking a couple courses in writing daily to ‘unlock my inner self’ and am going to use a journal to write in instead of pouring out my angst here. Privately writing I won’t care how many misspelled words and grammatical errors I make! True I don’t try real hard here

Not sure how helpful this will be to me but I’m trying to understand myself. Of course he may have been just be fickle…..a fluke…..a false friend, a fake or just a complicated man who changed his mind, it will be difficult for me to find a man who will understand my life and not see me as a ‘trailer trash ‘ without options. I feel like they may not see me as an educated woman who chose this lifestyle and is basically happy living it. He understood, or seemed to, maybe not.

One of those Days

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Not sure about this man

Probably should let him go without further communication but I hate to give up!

He told me so little about himself, maybe there’s little to tell, he said his life was uneventful compared to my stories, but I wonder what he wasn’t telling.

I gave him my number so we could text each other because that worked so well with Colorado man, even while he lived here we would text rather than call.

So this morning I get a text that says “I am such a big boy, Kate’s big boy”…..

damn, not what I expected!!! What is this?

He says “ it’s humor, if your searching for an exit, put it out there I’m a big boy.”

I’m wondering what kind of man he is and told him that was not what I had in mind when I offered to communicate with him. What do you think.

Run?

Creepy?

So this is actually the second time he has told me to go, it’s as though he doesn’t expect anyone to stick around. Almost a challenge.

So I texted him that I’m not interested in junkyard conversation and would only continue with a clean and decent minded man, so there we are.

Another failed contact. This may be a waste of time, hoping to find a companion at this stage may be futile, sometimes I wish I had never begun looking,

Odd, he is no longer on the site, too strange so I’ve blocked him from my phone and that’s the end of that story.

End of all stories in blue

Wondrium is an excellent way to keep your brain agile or just enjoy learning.

If you want to keep learning stuff this is an excellent option for that is cost effective if you keep at it. $20 a month or less seems like a great deal if you consistently use the service. I have started and stopped a few different classes but you can come back to them any time to resume the class. Huge number of classes, I like history and art but the options are many in many different subjects, even dance classes!

I’m listening to lectures on modern warfare as kind of a follow up to a book I finally finished by Paul Kennedy “The Rise and Fall of the Great Powers. “It took me awhile to get through this dense book and I probably won’t remember details but I enjoyed the authors ability to keep me involved in a historical age from 1500 to 2000. I wish it had included more recent world events, but I suspect there are plenty of books written about the current pathetic state of affairs.

While I’m busy doing something else I’m avidly listening to “France through the ages” with lecture given in a easy to listen to french accent. The war lecture was getting into the weapons used in modern warfare and kind of lost me so touring France is much more pleasant, I can get back to war later, or forget about it.

It’s going to get very hot for the next few days…..weeks so that means I’ll have to be inside with the ac on all the time, I hate being so closed in with windows shut ! Charley doesn’t like it either, his favorite stop to sleep is in his bed under the RV but he’s anxious to come back in after being outside only a short time. Sometimes I can go out at night to mess about in the studio or sit outside to listen to music, just to get out of the rv for awhile before I go to sleep.

Mola design

Went to meet a man for lunch at Sparky’s in Hatch

A Silver Singles man who on meeting said, “now you’ve seen me, you can go”. Wow, what a greeting! I just said why would I do that?

Perfectly nice man, my age but so self depreciated he didn’t expect anything to come of our meeting. Seems he thought I was okay looking, that wasn’t the problem, maybe my life style put him off. I showed him some photos so he would better understand me, but he said he could never live like that, he lives in a townhouse in town, where his neighbors are not friendly. I didn’t learn much about him, he never told me what kind of work he did and I didn’t ask. I don’t care about what he did in the past but am interested what he’ll do in the future and it seemed like there is not much going on in his life. He has a parrot for company. He had a nice smile, but I don’t think he expects this to go anywhere, I know he won’t push it, admits he’s submissive and that’s not the relationship I’d be interested in.

So, next? There are several men on the site that I’d noticed before apparently still single, I hailed them to say hello, a couple too far from here, another closer but hasn’t responded to my note, they almost seem like old friends in a common search for that one that will complete our lives.

Back to the Silver singles, I don’t see much to like there, but paid my money and will keep looking around, funny thing, there is a man from my park on the site, we’ve known each other for 3 years but never found ourselves interested in looking too closely at each other and now laugh about it and commiserate each other on the waste of time we spend on the site,( but yeah, no)

I’m taking a couple classes one is a daily writing course, not teaching me to write (sorry) but making a habit and understanding yourself through your writing, gain a perspective on who you are and who you can become….and who you want to be……

Sin mas

Listen to what your body tells you

It is never wrong, but sometimes it’s hard to hear. I should have been paying attention but was so happy to “be in love” that when my body tried to tell me to slow down and I couldn’t, I didn’t . I’m over it, I’m sleeping better and I feel calm and a little relieved he’s gone so I can get on with my life back right where I am, yeah, not going anywhere.

So far so good, he leaves the area tomorrow and I’m feeling good about the time we spent together, like my sister says “you had fun, didn’t loose any money “ (so get over it ..implied).

She’s absolutely right and I’m ready to get back on that horse and try again…..

So I joined another site for three months. Silver Singles and have responses but the site is wonky, and I think I sent smiles indiscriminately!

I have learned about the men who tell you they found love but have a friend that’s not on the program but like my profile and want me to contact their friend by email. I got three of those messages the same day different men, I guess it’s common, trying to share the site with a buddy. But you know nothing about that person, better to skip over that message.

A man from Sedona has a cool story, new age type guy , extensive travel history if what he writes is so. Anyway, it gives me more to write about and you must be tired reading about my experience with Colorado man. Sedona man has texted me back and forth still texting at12:40 am, he reminds me of me quite a few years ago all new age ideas that are coming around again or perhaps never stopped. I may have to research Sedona energy, he sees himself as a good luck charm, he is Latino but doesn’t speak much Spanish, born in Ecuador, says he is a total astrologer. Whatever that means. Seems pretty high maintenance and too complicated for me.

I try to only communicate with men living in NM because of travel concerns not too many men in their 70s -80s are likely to travel far, me neither.

I’m meeting a man on Friday for lunch in Hatch, seems interested, good to actually meet face to face before spending much time communicating on line, I’ll update here after our lunch.I will refer to him as cruces man, he’s only 60 miles away. Wish I could ask for references!

I’m having the best day.

I painted over a painting not going anywhere and have had my music on classical all morning.

Made a very good smoothie this morning with fruit,berries, protein powder,collagen peptides,flax seed,another seed can’t remember it’s name and kale from my garden and remembered to take my supplements.

I’m taking a class where the intent is to “embrace the miracle of my body” with Deepak Chopra, on line. Maybe I can fix what ails me, he says I can!

I bought a jump rope but so far have not been able to jump off the ground much less jump the rope!

I expect to walk one mile today, I have to walk around the park one more time to complete a mile, not much, but better than yesterday cuz I sat painting too long…same which I covered over today! Having trouble getting my groove back….. if I ever had one. Nevertheless I’ll keep looking for it.

Well, my profile is being visited so I’ll go check to see by whom. Who?

Sin mas

dissolution

Is that one s or two? Colorado man would know and has corrected a few of my posts as he is a champion speller and understands basic grammar and punctuation. All I do is write whatever comes to my mind not always following the rules, I have some ignorance gaps here and there, I am not bothered by them cuz I compensate in other areas of importance, like honestly. I am honestly an honest woman. Colorado man doesn’t lie he just doesn’t tell the truth, there is a difference

Change

Driving down to Hatch I was happy to see green crops growing and water in the rio Grande. I think about the haves and have nots as some crops are thriving and green, obviously getting enough water, and other farms struggling without adequate water supplied. We need more rain or shortages will be felt just about everywhere, my garden needs cover from the sun to survive. I cleaned up the studio and will soon get back to painting on canvas instead of my walls.

Photos update GG , she looks a lot different now, I’m happy with the changes.

Sin mas